Solace

I woke to the sound of someone bumping around the house this morning. Since I was face down on the bed in my britches and still sleeping off the booze from the night before, I opened one eye and squinted through a fuzzy haze...

…and saw what appeared to be a large bohonkus. Miss JJ, I figured, till I opened my eye a little more and realized it was Miss April.

She must have sensed me looking at her, ‘cause right then she turned round and came talking.

‘Hey Mister V, how are you? Whew, by the smell of you I ain’t sure you need it but I brought you some more whiskey. I-I just thought I’d tidy up a little. Gosh I don’t know what to do. I’m not getting involved and tied up in your business, surely I’m not, but please Mister V, go get Miss Houston and make things right. Can you do that Mister V?’

Though I opened my mouth to speak, a grunt was all I could manage. 

Miss April tucked me in as best she could and whispered goodnight before she left. I remember thinking that was strange, since the house was filled with daylight. Next thing I knew it was two o’clock this afternoon.

For once there was no one around when I went outside. Still in my underwear, I flopped in a chair with a mug of coffee and a cigarette, and soaked up a little peace and quiet. Then who should come along but Big Chief Big Ass herself.

‘Well if it ain’t my favorite bucket mouth. Howdy Miss JJ, what brings you here?’

‘A horse’ she said, with a smile deserving of a size ten boot up the ass. ‘I was on my way to town and thought I’d drop by and see if it’s true you proposed to certain little lady. From the state of you it ain’t hard to guess how that worked out. You look awful.’

‘Thanks for the sympathy.’

‘Sympathy’s a new angle I’m working on, Cowboy. Figure it might help me find someone to give me a massage.’

‘Try me. I’m sympathetic enough to massage you for free, starting with your neck. Any more than that gets charged by the square yard.’

‘No thanks, I’ve got delicate a sense of smell. No offense, but this is as close to your sweaty underwear as I ever want to be, thank you.’

I watched Miss JJ ride on and then finished my coffee. Maybe she had a point.

A soak in the tub did me a world of good. Now that I’m clean, fresh and thinking straight, there’s no time for moping. Now where did Miss April put that whiskey? 


With thanks to April Strickland and JJCocker