Rambunctious

I thought Housty was fooling when she said she’d found God. Maybe she has, maybe she ain’t. Something’s going on, that’s for sure. I ain’t seen hide nor hair of her, or anyone else, since my whiskey got stolen and I reckon that tells its own story.

I guess I was feeling a little rambunctious when I went into town last night. A drink was overdue and Miss Sweet’s place seemed like a good place to start.

There was no sign of the lady herself but my, did I have an interesting talk with the barkeep.

‘We haven’t seen her in days. Couldn’t tell you where she is, she never said. She just took off with some friends.’

‘Friends?’

‘Yeah, three women, I remember them telling Sweetie to get a wiggle on or they’d be late for the prayer meeting.’

‘Prayer meeting?’

‘That’s what they said, though it did seem to amuse them.’

My suspicions were all but confirmed when the barkeep described them as loud, proud and sassy. Ain’t unusual for Housty and her friends to act that way when they’re together, especially when they’re out on the booze… but a prayer meeting? Housty finding God I can just about swallow but Miss April, Miss Brandi and Miss Sweet? Hell, if there’s any virtue in that bunch of sinners then I’m John the Baptist. 

Since the whereabouts of those whiskey thieves was a mystery, I could only brood. Frustrating, sure, but a couple of hours with a bottle of the good stuff helped, and so did a grudge elsewhere. Riled up and full of fighting juice, I headed for The Cat’s Whiskers.

I usually steer clear of The Cat’s Whiskers, a back street saloon full of no goods, but I had a score to settle with Tom Bradley and I was minded to do something it. As always, he was holding court at the card table and he was quick to open his pie hole when he saw me at the bar. 

‘Well, well, if it ain’t ex-deputy Valance.’

I let him waffle while I ordered a whiskey and knocked it straight back.

‘Ain’t very sociable is he boys?’

Ignoring him, I told the barkeep refill to my glass.

‘Maybe he’s waiting on an invite?’ someone said.

‘How about that Valance, would you like to join us for a friendly game of poker?’

I don’t play poker. Ain’t that I don’t know how, I’m just no good at it. Comes from having an honest face, I guess. But an invite is an invite and after gulping down my whiskey, I moseyed over to the card table.

‘Well well.’ Tom Bradley grinned and rocked back in his chair as I approached. ‘Looks like you’ve grown a spine since you were last here.’

‘I was here to keep the peace then.’

‘And now?’

The smug varmint got his answer when I kicked the chair from under him.

The ruckus that followed was short and sweet; I hit him, he hit me and when he came at me with a chair, I kicked him in the nuts. Twice.

I left Bradley groaning on the floor and headed back to the main street, where a twitch in my pants led me to The Parlor. 

I always get a friendly welcome at The Parlor. Cordelia knows how to treat me right and she always makes me feel special. I thought I might spend the night with her but when I entered the lobby, she wasn’t there. There was no reply when I called her name.

‘She’s indisposed,’ a little voice answered, from somewhere along the hallway.

I sidled into the gloom and saw a girl standing in a doorway.  A new girl, I figured, since I’d never seen her before. She looked weary, like she’d had a long day. A tilt of her head and an upward glance indicated Cordelia was upstairs.

‘That kind of indisposed, huh?’

‘You can have me for a dollar.’

‘Cordelia doesn’t charge me a penny.’

‘I don’t do this for charity. We can make it fifty cents?’

Well, she was fine built woman and I liked what I saw. I ain’t mean. She was worth a dollar, only trouble is her room smelled like someone had poked a stick in a barrel of dead fish, and maybe that ain’t far from the truth. It helped none when I saw the state of her cot. Fussy I ain’t but a man has to draw a line somewhere.

I changed my mind about staying the night. I just rode her to glory, gave her giblets a rinse and got myself out of there. Sure wish I could remember her name though. I’ve been trying to remember since I woke up this morning. Hmm, maybe I never asked.