Twixt Hell and Damnation

Holy shinbones, what a mess. When Housty ain’t giving me the silent treatment she’s threatening to bust my head and if that ain’t worry enough, there’s a sack load of jail time stashed in the barn. Hell was I glad to get out of the house this morning.

‘Coffee’s on the stove’ said Emmett when I turned up at the office. Sitting at his desk, he was thumbing through a pile of wanted posters.

I grabbed a mug and helped myself, then moseyed over to take a look at a poster he’d set aside.

‘He looks a mean one.’

‘He’s dead.’

‘He is?’

‘He’d better be, we buried him a month ago,’ said Emmett, as he slapped the other posters back in his drawer.

‘Looking for anyone in particular?’

‘A woman.’

I cussed myself for asking. Since Emmett could only be talking about the woman in the bank robbery, I threw him a steer. 

‘She’ll be long gone by now, whoever she is.’

‘A female drifter? I don’t think so. She’s from these parts, I know it.

‘Suppose we’re wrong? What if it’s a man after all?  Maybe the clerk got mixed up? I remember seeing a big fella mooching around that afternoon. 300 pounds of pure ugliness, I recall, with a scar on his cheek and a couple of broken teeth. I remember thinking he looked suspicious.’

‘No, it was a woman, and a new witness backs it up.’

‘What new witness?’

‘Abner Keogh called in this morning. He picked up a wagon load of grain last Wednesday and he remembers a woman running out of the bank as he started out for home.’

‘He’s sure it was a woman?’

‘It had to be. He said he hadn’t seen melons bounce like that since his wedding night.’

‘Did he get a good look at her face?’

‘He wasn’t looking at her face.’ 

‘Well even if it was a woman, we’re sure going to a lot of fuss over a sack of nickels. Most everyone I’ve talked to thinks it’s funny.’

‘Maybe so, but it’s not just the money or the principle. If a lone woman can rob our bank and get away with it, every rattlesnake for miles will be trying their luck. Anyhow, how’s that woman of yours?’

‘Why do you want to know?’

‘Just asking, seeing as you’ve got your horse back, I assume she’s home again?’

‘Oh, she’s fine. Yeah, fine.’

‘Enjoy her time with her folks?’

‘Yeah, she had a wonderful time, thanks.’

I declined Emmett’s suggestion that we go for something to eat. I told him I’d already eaten. A bare faced lie, sure, but he was making me twitchy.

‘Alright,’ said Emmett. ‘Well, now you’ve got your horse back you might as well start asking questions out of town. Just get along home when you’re done and report back in the morning.’ 

Hell, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.