The Hussy

I ain’t seen hide nor hair of Housty since I got back from Salina. Danged woman’s up to no good, I reckon. Ain’t a nice thing to say, I know, but sometimes you gotta face the truth. Whilst me and Nameless have been sitting here, loyal and true, and pining for her, she’s out there having a high old time. 

I paid little attention to the whispering in The Frisky Duck yesterday. Twixt shots of whiskey, my mind was on Housty, even when I heard a lot of snickering. Whatever the joke was, seemed everyone was in on it but me. 

‘Hey Valance!’ Billy Bob Bunyan yelled. ‘We ain’t seen you in weeks, where you been?’ The question seemed innocent enough, but a watching audience and Billy Bob’s fool grin and had me suspicious. 

‘Personal business,’ I said, good and loud for all to hear.

‘Doing what?’

‘Business that’s personal to me and nobody else, Pea Brain.’

Billy Bob wasn’t discouraged. ‘Been home long?’

‘Nope’

‘See any smoke signals?’ Billy Bob snorted. Everyone found that funny, including the bartender, whose shaking shoulders betrayed him when he turned his back on me. Seemed everybody was laughing but me, and I was getting pricklier by the second. 

The laughter dried up when I set my glass on the bar and strode up to Billy Bob, and fixed him with the Valance glare. ‘Okay Billy Bob. You’ve had your fun. Now suppose you tell me what this is all about?’ 

Then somebody else spoke up.

‘That woman of yours; she’s got herself a new man.’

Murmurs of agreement backed up the speaker.

‘An Injun!’ said another. ‘She’s got herself an Injun!’

‘Yeah, they were cozied up together at your place,’ said a heavy set fella with a bushy beard. 

‘That’s a lie!’

Bushy Beard pushed himself forward and sneered. ‘I seen them with my own eyes. She and that Injun were getting real friendly, maybe more than friendly. Could be there’s a little papoose on the way.’

I swear Bushy Beard bounced off the floor when I caught him on the chin with a good one. But in the ruckus that followed, someone busted a chair over my head and I ended up taking a hiding. It’s a good thing Sheriff Berry turned up when he did. Course I got blamed...

‘Valance! I might have known,’ said the sheriff, when he dragged the last man off me.

‘He started it,’ said Bushy Beard. ‘Ain’t that right, folks?’

‘He’s right Sheriff, some people are natural born trouble makers,’ said Billy Bob.

‘I heard you’d gone away,’ said the sheriff. 

‘The boys gave me a welcome home party. Got a little out of hand, that’s all.’

‘Well there’ll be no more parties without asking me first,’ said the sheriff. ‘Okay Valance, get out of my sight and get along home, before I lock you in jail.’

Sheriff Berry did me a favor, I reckon, and going home didn’t seem a bad idea, only I didn’t make it past The Parlor. Cordelia almost busted her bustle when she saw me shuffling by. 

‘Valance! Where have you been?’ she cried as she rushed into the street, though she pulled up real quick when she saw my messed up face. ‘Oh my, just look at you!’ 

Cordelia took real good care of me; cleaned me up, bathed my wounds and soothed my swellings in her own special way. Hell, didn’t she just. I got eggs for breakfast this morning, too.